Sunday, January 16, 2011

Today I watched a new father carry his first born baby's casket into the chapel where we honored Charlotte Joanne Nelson. She was born without a heartbeat on Tuesday. Her Grandpa gave a wonderful heartfelt talk that radiated love for his daughter, son-in-law and their little baby. Her Uncle sang a song that he had written four years earlier - there was not a dry eye in the chapel. Another Uncle read a poem he had written - also indescribable. Finally the Father spoke, I can't believe he was able to - he spoke of her and the experience, their love for her and then he spoke of Heavenly Father's love and mercy for them - it was amazing. One thing that he said that has stuck in my head (I am paraphrasing) ... "we could say 'it isn't fair' and be selfish about not having our baby girl, but really, as perfect as she was, it would be unfair to have her here - to taint her perfection." Later at the Provo cemetery, he dedicated the grave site and then we watched as, first the mom and then all of the cousins released pink balloons. A few minutes after they had been released one of the little cousins who was standing near me, turned to her mom and asked "do you think the baby got our balloons yet?" So sweet.

My heart hurts so much for them, mostly because I know how much I love my little babies and I can't even think about not having them with me, without my body wanting to explode in panic. Also because so much joy that they had anticipated has now turned to sorrow.

I am so grateful for the Savior's love, support and comfort that they are receiving at this time. I am grateful for his sacrifice and that because of that we can all look forward to holding that sweet little baby and their family can be together. I am so grateful for the gospel and today especially, the Plan of Salvation.